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Hollow part 1 – update
SHORT NOTE:
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THIS IS FOR ADULT.
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I DON’T KNOW ENGLISH VERY WELL. I JUST WANT TO IMPROVE IT.
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I’M NOT A WRITER
Description:
Are you really think that you are a master of your fate? What would you say, if I told you that you were wrong.
Akim, no longer young, but still good looking, rich man bought a new technology (machine that can cut many trees). He didn’t know that this simple decision not only will have an impact on his own life, but also change life of many others. There is also a girl. The girl, who want to discover who she really is and what is her role in this mess.
!THIS CHAPTER CONTAIN MATURE CONTENT!
“I will fuck you from behind” he whispered in her ear and his, big, hairy hand landed on her left breast. He grabbed it so hard that she groaned in pain. At the same time he caressed her ear by tongue. She felt his sharp teeth on her ear lobe. He nipped it strongly, making her gasp again.
Hearing her voice, he let go her lobe and a wild smile appeared on his face. Then he took her ear back to his mouth and started suck. She felt his fingers into her skirt. His hand moved up, straight to her pant.
They sat on the edge of a big, wooden bed. He hold her on his lap. She sat astride him. Her legs were tightened around his back.
Suddenly, she felt his warm fingers on her cheek. He brushed her hair away from her face and then his thumb touched her lips. She shivered, but he didn’t take his hand away. He was watching her.
She looked down embarrassed and her gold curls hung on her face again. He noticed her confusion. He took her face in both hands and bring it closer to his. She felt his breath on her lips. She closed her eyes and didn’t protest, when he kissed her. Quite the opposite, she clung to him whole body. His tongue traveled inside her mouth. He tasted her Piece of piece.
Suddenly, he stopped. She felt his body stiffen. Then he grabbed her hair hard and threw her to the floor. She hit her head on the hard wood.
That hurt.
She supported her weight on her arm and turned face to her companion. He stood by her. His face was purple. He violently grasped her hair and lifted her head up.
“You bitch!” he snarled through clenched teeth. “I will kill you!!!”
He hauled off to smack her, but he didn’t make it. His grips relaxed and he fell down to the floor. She looked at him motionless for a few good seconds and then got up.
She fixed her hair and wiped lips with the back of her hand. Then she squatted down for a closer look and checked pulse. The man was dead. She looked at his left hand. The gold bracelet gleamed on his wrist. She took it off and put it to her pocket. Then she got up, turned around and went to the big mirror that was in the corner of the room. She reached out her hand to the sheet and once again she looked at lying body. She smiled and then disappeared inside the mirror.
Omg can’t wait for the next update.
hahaha…. thanks
I feel that I have to read more English book to better express my feelings and ideas, because for now I have problems like” “how to say that in English” hahahaha ><
Hey Raff, I can help you to edit the whole story with better english. It is just an idea/suggestion. I wish to be of help to you. 😀
lol the heck did i just read
When I read the first line of the text I was like: “WOAH!!!!” hahaha really surprised me!
Now I’m curious to know more, what’s that woman? A human? Waiting for chapter 2.
ok, chapter 2 done 😛
Short, yet very interesting development! I would like to see how it continues
Wow! What a sexy description! This development thrills me even in short story. I’m looking forward to reading the next chapter
Omg that intro!! I was not expecting that.
hahaha… ><
thank you for all your effort
Oooh ~
I like it! Fortunately, there are 28 parts left B-)!
I Just found something interesting. This is gonna be good.
Description is quite well written. And that twist was just woah guess I’ve decided what I’ll be doing this weekend.
Hey Raff, that’s a great story to be honest. The plot is nice and has that necessary element of curiosity for the readers. The ending was totally unpredictable. Overall, you did an amazing job!
However, there are minor grammatical errors. If you wish, I could help you out in that regard via e-mail or any other source. Cheers!
My friend recommended this story to me. And tbh, I was like “damn that was quick” at the first part lolol. I’m not really good in English, so I can’t (really) see your grammatical mistake. But overall, it’s interesting!
Your story interests me. I also write stories since in my grade school although I didn’t published or blogged it. I love stories. That’s why I’ll wait for your story ’til the end. Keep it up! (^ – ^)
Pretty interesting! Now I got hooked up in the story
Really liked it, the intro had me shook,someone suggested me to read it and here i am, i guess i will be a regular here from now Looking forward to reading your stories
I really love the cover art for this!
The story was not what I expected after I’d read the synopsis. I think the sudden twist of event is good and add impact to the story.
lol. i thought it is bdsm stuff kind of novel. XD
so she killed him huh?
Hi Raff, I’m new to your blog. I will be upfront. I am reading your story to get a potential okatomule password. With that said, this first chapter really catches the reader’s attention. The term is ‘piece by piece’ not ‘piece of piece.’ You also use ‘then’ a lot. Try other words for variety like afterwards, next, thus, etc.
Can someone please explain to me what is happening?
This was recommended by a friend and I’m totally shocked at what she was reading till now but I guess I too got hooked by it. It looked interesting.
His tongue traveled inside her mouth. He tasted her Piece of piece.
His tongue travelled inside her mouth. He tasted her piece by piece.
Minor adjustments 😀
1. The first sentence caught me off guard XD
2. It was so heated at the start i was like dame…someone turn on the fan >////<
3. Interesting turn of event, was not expecting that
She killed him. OMG, I didn’t expect something like that to happen. For someone who says their not good at English I think you’re doing an amazing job. I’m about to binge read this so expect a lot of comments from me XD
quite a catchy start to the death of the rapist in the first chapter, what will come of this, it’s a bit inconvenient to read in a foreign language, but it’s worth it
Hi, Raff! I’m a newcomer here.
Honestly, you have such a great vocabs. I mean, seriously, I reread almost every sentence just to understand the situation completely! (or maybe my English is bad lulz).
but wait! how come she killed the guys? omg, i have to continue reading
Wow! You caught me by surprised there. After reading the description I was ready for the story. When I read the first line, I was shocked! Definitely did not expect the ending at all. I really liked how you described everything so well. I like it when a writer goes that extra mile to make the readers be able to visually understand what they are reading. Great job!
Hmm. The plot is interesting but a little bit twisted
Whoa, I didn’t expect that! And she disappeared inside the mirror! How curious!
Speaking of grammar, there are glaring mistakes but the imagery is very strong. I could almost see what’s happening just by reading. ❤
Seems like I should keep reading. Thanks for the interesting story. ^^